Home » Posts tagged 'Funny'

Tag Archives: Funny

Heading North

Well, heading North was my intent at least.  To be entirely honest, I left Heathrow without any clue whatsoever as to where I was going.  Without GPS I was left lost and alone in a foreign land where almost nobody spoke English.  Okay, they all spoke English, but they refer to soccer as football over there so things could go haywire in an instead if I didn’t watch out.

As I departed the airport I fell back on my oft used technique to get myself out of 20150617_114127any jam – follow the crowd.  It works maybe 74% of the time.  Wherever the most amount of cars seem to be heading – I will head there too. At the very least you should end up somewhere safe (and maybe fun).  Amazingly enough the strategy worked as I got out of Heathrow and ended up heading North on the Msomething…….M1? I think that was it….

Regardless I was on my way!

Now, as I mentioned in my earlier post, that was just the beginning of my disastrous trip over to the UK.  I actually reached Huntingdon fairly easily, but from there I spent about 3 hours driving around in circles trying to find the Marriott.  And Huntingdon is not that big.

So, you may be wondering, “Ronniedigital, what was your first impression of Huntingdon?”

It was something like, “holy Mary-Mother-of-God, these roads, what’s wrong with these roads?  They’re clearly one way, but cars are going both ways……Why are cars parked in so many different directions?  Why are they parked in the street on a road that is not wide enough for two cars as it is?  Why is this car so effing big?  Oh, how cute, a fox.  Is it British?  I bet it is. Shit this road is too small.  I need a smaller car!!!  WWJD!”20150617_133628

After three hours of this and two stops at a Tesco, multiple stops to ask for directions, and having passed some locations up to 48 times I finally made it to the Marriott (by accident).  I also ran a red light at one point, and entered almost every roundabout in the wrong lane.

Yeah, that sums it up.  A disaster.

But wait, there’s more.  After my extremely exhausting trip I went to check into the Marriott and just as I arrive the power goes off.  This delays the check-in process slightly, but soon enough I was up and sleeping in my room.

Or so it seemed.  😦

About an hour into my stay someone entered my room using THEIR key car and quickly snuck out after realizing the room was occupied.  Although this was a bit unsettling, I was too tired to bother with details, and went back to trying to nap.  After about another hour a nice man in a suit also entered and came in far enough to say hello and apologize for interrupting my nap.  I then went downstairs and asked the front desk to cease and desist from sending strangers into my room.  Apparently due to the power outage they couldn’t log the key card in, or something like that, and decided the best tactic was to have everyone just check in to my room.

Advertisements

Sleeping

Every once in awhile I venture onto sites other than Human See, Human Do, and today I found myself on MSN.com.  Not because I wanted to mind you, but because I use Internet Explorer to write my blog and every single time I log on, IE asks me if I’m interested in switching my home page to MSN.  After awhile I started to think perhaps I was missing out on something big, so I switched.  It turns out I’m not missing much, but I did stumble across this article and since it comes with diagrams I figured I would give it a read.

Men’s Health claims that you can learn about yourself by looking at what position you sleep in.  Men’s Health also once claimed I could figure out if my girlfriend was cheating on me by how she sits on the couch so I am entering this with a bit of skepticism.

Now, before I find out what it means to sleep in the position I do, I figured I would go through my two or three top positions to avoid the appearance that I might be picking the one that makes me look the best.

1.  Currently I tend to go angled on my stomach with my one arm below the pillows and one arm hanging off the bed.  I always have one leg outside the comforter.  (TMI?)

2.  A long, long time ago I used to go full cocoon, flat on my back with the blanket wrapped under my head.  AKA, “the oven.”

Claire Forlani SexyOkay, I will now look through the pictures and learn all about myself!

Go!

I used to go “Soldier Style” although they have no mention about tucking the blanket up under your head:

Personality: Soldier sleepers are generally quiet and reserved. They don’t like to make a big deal out of things, and they set very high standards for themselves and others.

Health Benefit: Research shows that sleeping on your back may lead to snoring, difficulty breathing, and an overall bad night’s sleep. Is your snoring keeping someone awake at night? Try flipping over — you’ll both wake up more refreshed.

Hmmmmmm, since I have abandoned this style I’m going to just assume I was once a quiet, reserved, snoring monster that has turned to bigger and better things.

They don’t really list my current style, but it’s sort of a combination of the “Yearner” and the “Freefall.”

Yearner:

Personality: Yearners are open to new things, but also suspicious and cynical. They take a long time to make decisions – weighing pros and cons repeatedly – but once they make a choice, they almost never change their mind or have regrets.

Health Benefit: Resting on your side can help alleviate some problems associated with acid reflux disease and sleep apnea. But if such symptoms are a common occurrence, you may need to see a specialist.

Freefall:

Personality: Freefallers are often extroverted and brash people. They appear nervy, but are truly thin-skinned people who take criticism personally.

Health Benefit: Freefall — or any position in which you’re lying face down — is good for digestion.

I’m not sure how accurate any of this is, notably neither of these two descriptions have the word “awesome” listed at all, so I’m relatively certain this is not an exact science.   Just so to give some credit to Men’s Health I have to admit that I have always considered myself pretty good at digestion, so at least part of this is accurate.

%d bloggers like this: