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Rental Car Reviews

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Since I have spent 100 of the last approximately 420 days with various rental cars, I figured it was about time that I reviewed my rentals.  This is also meant to serve as a  public service announcement of sorts in the event you have the good fortune step footVersa 1 in a rental agency yourself!!

1.  Mitsubishi Gallant – This one is certainly large enough to carry a few suitcases, and passengers, but the interior was a bit strange.  I also surrendered my ride to my car-mates after two days to switch over to a different car due to the fact that my fellow passengers were insane.  Drove fairly well, kind of an odd boxy shape, slightly off-putting interior.  Overall, 5/10.

2. Ford Fiesta – Piece of crap.  Maybe the world’s worst car.  The rental person explained it has some sort of dual-transmission that makes it seem like it’s sucking while in fact it is doing some extremely awesome sh*t.  Well, it wasn’t extremely awesome – it was the farthest thing from awesome ever (assuming you exclude the ‘Twilight’ films).  It also felt like the car was going to blow up at any moment.  1/10!

3.  Chevrolet Malibu – Eh, spectacularly average.  4/10.

4.  Hyundai Elantra – Magnificent!  It had some pep, the steering wheel was so loose it felt like you could spin it and it would go

Minivan 1

around and around forever like the big wheel on the ‘Price is Right’  (Note:  I tried this several times and it will not spin around endlessly – no need to try it for yourself).  The interior was nice, and the only reason it loses points is because the sight-lines on that car were horrendous.  Maybe you get used to it, but over a week or two you pretty much were changing lanes without knowing if anyone was in your massive blind spot.  Since it was a rental though I’m not taking points away for this – I’m not all that concerned about blind spots, or accidents in a rental.  8/10.

5.  Chevy Cruz – Sucked.  Pretty much average in every way possible.  4/10.  I give it a four instead of five because being average sucks, and you lose a point for that.  It was pretty much a tiny version of the Malibu.


6.  Buick Regal TII Turbo – Heaven.  If god comes back to Earth to pick up a rental to drive through the pearly gates I am fairly certain he’s going with the Buick.  First, because it’s heavenly, and second, because it’s American made, and everyone knows God only buys American (because he’s obviously American).  There was nothing it couldn’t do. Fast, heated everything, brilliant layout – 10/10!

7.  Nissan Versa – I had a Versa once before a couple years ago on a trip to Cleveland and I was a big fan.  That was a hatchback.  This last trip I had a sedan version, and it was pretty lousy.  Felt rather cheap inside, tiny all-around, and no pep whatsoever.  3/10.

8.  Toyota Camy/Hyundai Sonata – Both were broken, so no reviews other than the interiors were nice.  I drove them a combined 894 feet so the grade issued is ‘incomplete’ for both.

Note:  In the event that you want a free upgrade just keep telling the rental counter your car is broken.   The Camry had a ‘check

engine’ light on, but you can probably replicate this happen for yourself by clipping some wires.  The Sonata had a broken seat belt,Buick 2 which you should be able to duplicate by jamming something in the belt latch!  Eventually you will end up with a Buick.  You’re welcome!

9.  Minivan – I’m not even sure what type of minivan it was – all I know is that it was spectacular.  Figuring out the whole stow-n-go system was a bitch though and took 11 of us to finally figure out how to make the seats disappear!!  9/10!

Note:  Avis sucks.  Do not rent from Avis.


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