This may have been the best birthday weekend of sports of all-time. At least for me – and hopefully anyone else born on December 28th.
Friday: Syracuse faced off against Minnesota in the Texas Bowl – and after racing out to an early lead and seemingly having the game under control, they suddenly fell apart and just like that Minnesota took the lead. Well, as soon as hope seemed to be fading they get a huge kickoff return and pulled out the win.
Syracuse 21 Minnesota 17
Saturday: After the Orange basketball team came out looking fairly lackadaisical Saturday afternoon they quickly fell behind 25-7 in the opening minutes of the game against Villanova. I quickly began preparing myself for the inevitable loss (this usually entails me warning anyone else in the room that they better exit before they get hit by a flying object). However, twenty unanswered points later by Syracuse and the tide had turned. The game ended up in a blowout Orange victory.
Syracuse 78 Villanova 62
Sunday: The Chargers entered the previous week with a 1% chance at making the playoffs. Going into today they needed a loss by both the Dolphins and Ravens, along with a victory of their own to advance. After the 1:00pm games played out with both teams losing, the Chargers only needed to pull out a win against the Chiefs back-ups. Well, shockingly the Chiefs back-ups were beating up on my Chargers until late in the fourth quarter. Then, miraculously enough, the Chiefs missed an easy field goal at the end of regulation that would have won it, and the Chargers pulled this one out in overtime.
Chargers 27 Chiefs 24
Perfect sports birthday weekend complete. Well done, me!!
Syracuse finishes up their always painful football season tonight against Minnesota in some sort of bowl game in Texas. I’m sure it has some ridiculous name, like most of the bowls, so we’ll just call it the Texas Bowl.*
Syracuse hoops actually squared off against the Gophers basketball team about a month ago, and on November 25th they took down the not-so-mighty Minnesota basketball team 75-67. So, in honor of Minnesota, and since Syracuse is now playing them for the second time in a little over a month here are three fun sort-of-facts about Gophers and the state they represent.
- They have a logo that looks like an upside down W. W is the first letter in winners, so they’re the opposite of winners, which means they’re losers. This bodes well for the Syracuse football team.
- It’s against the law to eat Hamburgers on Sunday in St. Cloud, MN. Hamburgers are delicious every day of the week. Shame on you Minnesota.
- It’s against the law to let your animals sleep in bakeries in Duluth. That’s racist. Or at least very wrong.
Perhaps most significantly, in all my travels around the Midwest attending sporting events, Minnesota fans were by far the worst. Milwaukee – great fans! Kansas City – ditto! Chicago – perfectly fine! Minnesota – annoying/jerks!!
And with that being said, my prediction for the big game:
Down goes Minnesota.
* It is, oddly enough, actually called the Texas Bowl
Just to continue on with my Christmas theme, I am now going to unveil next years wrapping paper! As a savvy shopper, I know that the best deals on wrapping paper are always the day after Christmas. I think everyone probably knows that, but whatever.
I know I may have said earlier that blue wrapping paper is the way to go, but you to adapt if all the blue patterns suck – and adapt I did. So this is what I am going with instead – feel free to copy me and you can have a classy Christmas next year too!
As far as my actual Christmas, it went pretty well. And by pretty well I mean that I managed to stay sober in spite of the endless amount of peer pressure I faced from my family to drink myself into oblivion. My family enjoys two things – offering me drinks, and trying to get me to eat squash.
The drinking I understand – I am fantastic sober, so it only stands to reason that I would be even more fantastic drunk, and they want to witness it. The more I put it off – the more they want to see it. Well done, me.
In addition, it’s become some sort of odd family ritual, in a family without many customs, for the family each and every Christmas to taunt me endlessly about the fact that I hate squash. This always ends with someone putting squash on my plate and everyone cheering me on as I shovel the world’s tiniest spoonful of any substance ever into my mouth.
And even with it being that tiny I still recoil in terror right before it hits because I know it’s going to be the most god-awful taste that’s ever been invented……I say invented because I am pretty certain if there is a god he would not have come up with that him or herself.
F**k you squash…..f**k you.
Now, on to the more important stuff. I just happen to be an expert when it comes to gift giving & wrapping, and, as a result, feel it is my duty to let everyone in on my secrets!
Soooooo, consider this my Christmas Eve gift to all my readers – Hi Deb!!! Hi Matt!!!
Anyway, let me start by putting up for display all of the gifts I have wrapped in all of their Christmas splendor and then I will walk you through of my tips and tricks for making this Christmas the best ever for you and yours!
1. Go with blue wrapping paper
– It’s very classy, and distinctive. Everyone else will be gifting with their boring old red wrapping paper with candy canes, or santa on it – meanwhile, you’ll steal the show with your blue!!! Why blue you ask? Well, first, blue is everyone’s favorite color according to science, and secondly, as mentioned above, it just looks classier. You could also go black, but then you just look pretentious – and probably won’t come back.
(The chart above shows what percentage of men/women choose blue as their favorite color)
2. Forget to put names on certain presents! (more…)