(Originally posted October 2010)
I stopped at the Mobil gas station last night and as I pulled up I saw a PT Cruiser at the pump with the hose still attached to the gas tank of the car (or whatever a PT Cruiser is supposed to be – is it a car or minivan?).
Anyway, as I am pulling up I see a woman get into the car and she begins to pull forward with the pump still attached. At this point I begin thinking that I could either; A) Try to warn her by honking, or, B) Enjoy the once in a lifetime experience of watching someone rip the gas pump from the gas dispensing unit.
Just like any other sane human being would do I chose option B.
I have to admit I was expecting a lot more excitement than what actually followed. I figured the car would pull away, the hose would detach from gas dispensing unit (or whatever it’s called) and gas would start spraying everywhere. At this point I figured some unsuspecting low-life would almost assuredly wander over with a cigarette and the whole town would go up in flames. In my mind it would look something like the end of ‘Fight Club’ – I even started hearing the Pixies in my head.
In actuality nothing happens. The car drives away, a loud pop follows, and the car goes a few feet before stopping. No gas spraying out, no fire – nothing!!!! They didn’t even perform a citizen’s arrest on the lady driving the car, the attendant just let her leave.
After resting my head on the steering wheel for several minutes cursing the oil & gas industry for their stupid safety precautions I got out and proceeded to enter the store. Now, I didn’t witness what happened next, but the attendant apparently tried to reattach the hose and when he did the gas finally sprayed out.
I know this because when the hapless attendant entered the store I immediately smelled gas and it just so happened that he was drenched in the stuff. Since I am very polite, I inquired if he was aware that he smelled like gas, and not surprisingly he did. I then asked him to leave the store since the smell was bothering me.