It’s a well-known fact that Bees and me just do not get along – they had the upper hand through most of my childhood, however, after their third all-out attack on my life I turned the tables for a bit before moving out of my boyhood home and to an area where bees were less readily available to attack me (and me them). Not that they didn’t try, but due to a larger population I was able to blend in and they had trouble finding me.
As a result of my struggles with these pests, I spend hours each day scouring the internet for stories about where the bees are and what they’re up to. Typically they’re not doing much, or at least they’re doing it out of the prying eyes of the mainstream media, but every now and again I find out that they are still very much alive and thriving as they rebuild their numbers in their never-ending quest to make my life miserable.
In a sad turn of events a man in Florida was recently attacked by a swarm of as many as 100,000 bees!
Jason Deeringer of Insect I-Q told WFLA that the bees are most likely “Africanized” bees — colloquially called “killer bees” — which are much more aggressive than other types of honey bees.
“[Africanized bees] have a horrible attitude. Highly defensive,” Deeringer told the station.
I do not know who Jason Deeringer is, but I would like to congratulate him on mastering the obvious. I wonder if I could get a part-time job with Insect I-Q – clever name!
Bees have a horrible attitude? Is this news to anyone? All they do is fly around looking to attack people – they land on flowers, and then pretend to pollinate them just to keep how completely useless they are under wraps, and then look for someone to sting. That’s pretty much what they do all day – every day. Oh, and they build hives to house their armies – they do that as well. And eat apples.
Except for Bumblebees – Bumblebees are fine. I actually believe they pollinate – in my experiences encountering them they tend not to attack without reason – they’re just all around good insects. The kind you don’t mind showing up at picnic – the rest of them are filthy little creatures that want nothing more than to ruin your life.