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Mean Streets

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November 2012
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I have now been a resident of Syracuse for exactly one month and during this time the single biggest complaint I have about this city is the streets.  In my entire life I have never seen a place where every single street is in such god-awful condition.  The best street you travel down in Syracuse is pretty much the equivalent of your normal below average stretch of road anywhere else in America.  I truly fear that one day I’m just going to disappear down a pothole never to be heard from again……

Even simple things you take for granted, like having the manhole covers somewhat level with the road, stand out as you drive around here.  For some reason half the manhole covers are a good three feet below the rest of the street.  It is essentially like driving around a park with speed bumps everywhere if they inverted every other speed bump to ensure they cause as much damage as possible to your car.

Since it may be somewhat difficult for everyone to imagine just how bad the roads are, I have constructed a precise diagram which displays very clearly the type of bumps and dips you can expect to encounter while visiting Syracuse.  If you do elect to visit to pick up your MERCHANDISE I would recommend driving your car to the outskirts of Syracuse and then renting a car to finish your journey.

According to my figures, sixty percent of the roads are in poor condition, 20 percent are fair, 9 percent are normal, seven percent are good, and the remaining four percent are in excellent condition.


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