Since I have spent 100 of the last approximately 420 days with various rental cars, I figured it was about time that I reviewed my rentals. This is also meant to serve as a public service announcement of sorts in the event you have the good fortune step foot in a rental agency yourself!! 1. … Continue reading
Well, heading North was my intent at least. To be entirely honest, I left Heathrow without any clue whatsoever as to where I was going. Without GPS I was left lost and alone in a foreign land where almost nobody spoke English. Okay, they all spoke English, but they refer to soccer as football over there so things could go haywire in an instead if I didn’t watch out.
As I departed the airport I fell back on my oft used technique to get myself out of any jam – follow the crowd. It works maybe 74% of the time. Wherever the most amount of cars seem to be heading – I will head there too. At the very least you should end up somewhere safe (and maybe fun). Amazingly enough the strategy worked as I got out of Heathrow and ended up heading North on the Msomething…….M1? I think that was it….
Regardless I was on my way!
Now, as I mentioned in my earlier post, that was just the beginning of my disastrous trip over to the UK. I actually reached Huntingdon fairly easily, but from there I spent about 3 hours driving around in circles trying to find the Marriott. And Huntingdon is not that big.
So, you may be wondering, “Ronniedigital, what was your first impression of Huntingdon?”
It was something like, “holy Mary-Mother-of-God, these roads, what’s wrong with these roads? They’re clearly one way, but cars are going both ways……Why are cars parked in so many different directions? Why are they parked in the street on a road that is not wide enough for two cars as it is? Why is this car so effing big? Oh, how cute, a fox. Is it British? I bet it is. Shit this road is too small. I need a smaller car!!! WWJD!”
After three hours of this and two stops at a Tesco, multiple stops to ask for directions, and having passed some locations up to 48 times I finally made it to the Marriott (by accident). I also ran a red light at one point, and entered almost every roundabout in the wrong lane.
Yeah, that sums it up. A disaster.
But wait, there’s more. After my extremely exhausting trip I went to check into the Marriott and just as I arrive the power goes off. This delays the check-in process slightly, but soon enough I was up and sleeping in my room.
Or so it seemed. :(
About an hour into my stay someone entered my room using THEIR key car and quickly snuck out after realizing the room was occupied. Although this was a bit unsettling, I was too tired to bother with details, and went back to trying to nap. After about another hour a nice man in a suit also entered and came in far enough to say hello and apologize for interrupting my nap. I then went downstairs and asked the front desk to cease and desist from sending strangers into my room. Apparently due to the power outage they couldn’t log the key card in, or something like that, and decided the best tactic was to have everyone just check in to my room.
Apparently the country I now call home is properly called by one of three names; England, Great Britain, or the United Kingdom. It’s very confusing, but I’m sorting it all out as we speak.
From what I can tell, if you include Ireland and Scotland and some other place (Greenland or Iceland probably….maybe Denmark?) you have Great Britain. If it’s just the country I’m in, it’s England. Finally, if you include Canada, South Korea, and West Virginia it’s the United Kingdom. At least that’s where I am at the moment.
I planned on updating more often, but for the most part I spend my days heading into roundabouts, and very rarely exiting them. I tend to go into a panic and just circle them endlessly. I’m quite good at it – and I think it’s such a unique maneuver that it impresses the locals.
My first experience driving started straightaway after a disastrous flight experience thanks to United and my drive from Heathrow to my hotel ended here – in this field. And my hotel was not in a field….I eventually worked up the courage to leave the field, drove around in utter frustration for 3 hours (never being more than 5 minutes from my hotel and eventually found my way to the Marriott). As you can see the field was quite nice.
You may be asking yourself a question right now, and that question is more than likely, “did the Bronx Zoo ever have people in their cages as an exhibit you could visit?” Well, great question, and the answer is YES, yes they did!
Poor Ota Benga.
Okay, so that may not be the question you were asking right at the moment. The question you are probably asking, or should be asking, is…….”what the fuck is this? A new post? Where you been RonnieDigital? Okay, that’s like eight questions, but you get the point.
Well, my point is – I am here to say sayonnara USA! RonnieDigital is leaving the United States of America for greener pastures! Or at least cloudier skies. For the next 92 days I will be living it up in the United Kingdom of America! Or the UKA for short…..Or as Deb calls it, “the place where all the good books come from.” Or as I call it, “that place that gave us ‘Top Gear’ and toaster ovens.”
Or as my mom calls it, “the land of my overlords.” (Note: She’s Canadian)
Be afraid United Kingdom’ians…..be very afraid.
The next stop on my tour of the country was Atlanta. Atlanta is perhaps best known for being in Georgia, and, ummm, I think that’s about it. Peaches, maybe?? I always thought Georgia was one of those states that never gets cold – it isn’t. It was cold. Very cold. And by very cold I mean … Continue reading